Agony Aunt  Sirius Black
by LoquaciousLupin
Summary: AU - Tonks is pregnant and ready to give birth any day, when Remus suddenly has a revelation... he's going to be a father! He goes to his old friend for some advice...


**AN: Okay, so this is a little different for me. I usually write romance stories but this was something that I wrote awhile ago for something else and when I reread it, I just knew I had to make it into a short Sirius and Remus one shot. It is Alternative Universe, simply because Sirius is still alive when Tonks is pregnant, but as it is just a little funny fluff peace I don't think it is toooooo AU. **

**I hope you like :-) Oh and the next chapter of One of Those Days will be up tomorrow night (Monday) Sorry for the delay! It is waiting to be proofread!). **

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><p><strong>Agony Aunt – Sirius Black<strong>

"What the bloody…" Sirius squinted at the clock on his bedside table, trying to focus his sleep filled eyes enough to read the time.

"Sirius, it's Remus, can I come in?" Sitting up, suddenly awake, Sirius saw that is was 2.47am.

"What is it? Is it Tonks? Is everything okay? Has there been an attack? Who's hurt?" Sirius was sure that something was bound to go wrong sooner or later, everything had just been running too smoothly lately.

"No-nothing like that, I mean it's nothing to do with Voldemort. I'm Sorry, I've woken you up, I shouldn't have, and it's nothing important. Go back to sleep, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Remus' voice seemed to struggle to force out each and every word. Sirius blinked a few times, "You mean to tell me, you knock on my door and wake me up at," he paused to get the exact time, "2.49 in the morning – then tell me don't worry, I'll talk to you tomorrow?" Sirius rubbed his hand along his head and waited for Remus' response, but none came. "Remus? What is it mate?" Remus began to talk maybe three of four times through Sirius' bedroom door, but each was nothing more than a stutter before he finally managed a coherent sentence,

"I'm going to be a dad."

Sirius smiled, "I know Moony, are you only just catching on to that?" The silence stretched out for much longer this time.

"Sirius, I can't. I – I'm not ready." Sirius swung his legs of his bed and bounded over to his bedroom door, wrenching it open. The site in front of him was enough to make even the hardest of men fill with pity for the crumple of a man they saw before them. Sirius stared at his old friend who had slide down onto the floor and was leaning against the wall to Sirius' bedroom, his knees tugged into his chest, his arms hugging them.

"It's a bit late for that Moony! Tonks is gonna pop any day now! What has bought all this on?" Remus didn't respond. Sirius slid down the wall and sat next to his oldest friend. "Talk to me Moony. Please, what's going on?"

Remus stared at the floor for a moment before bringing his eyes to meet Sirius', his confusion was written all over his face as he once again simply stated, "I'm going to be a dad."

Sirius laughed uneasily, "Yes, but you've known that for nearly 9 months now, is it only just starting to sink in?" He asked jokingly.

"Yes." Remus was dead serious.

_He and Tonks had been getting ready to go to bed, her back was hurting more and more each day and she wanted to have a bath before they did. Leaving the bathroom Tonks saw how Jack had propped the pillows up on her side of the bed, it was the only way she could get comfortable these days, there was a cup of chai tea on her bedside table with the book she had been reading on motherhood that she had left in the front room. Pulling back the quilt she smiled as she saw a hot water bottle laying there heating the sheets ready for her to slip between them, she did so and let out a loud sigh of contentment as she took the weight off her swollen feet._

_Remus walked into the bedroom and begun to get undressed for bed, "I think I have just about the best, kindest, most considerate husband there has ever been." She said smiling at him._

"_Oh really…"he quipped, "You will have to introduce me to him one day," Tonks smiled as Remus got in bed next to her, leaning over he gave her a quick kiss before pulling back, "How are you feeling? Any better, I hate that look you get when you ache all over, it makes me feel all helpless…I wish I could take the pain away." All the sincerity in the world could be seen on Remus' face, despite the fact that she knew he went through a much worse pain every single month. Tonks' really did feel like she had the best husband in the world and she just knew he was going to be an amazing father._

"_I am feeling much better; I love you Remus." Leaning in slowly towards him she whispered, "You're going to be an amazing dad." Tonks stopped; having expected Remus to close the distance between their lips, she was confused when he sat absolutely still, staring straight through her, "Remus?"_

_Remus moved back and looked as dazed and confused as Tonks felt; "Huh, what? I'm…"_

_Tonks ran her hand over his face, "Honey, are you okay?" Remus feigned what he hoped was enough of a smile to convince his wife nothing was wrong, "Yeah, just tired, busy…busy, really busy time, at work…you know with the Order of the Phoenix and all…I'm gonna get some sleep."_

_If Remus' stumbling and fumbling like a fool over his last sentence, including telling his wife where he worked hadn't been enough, his quick turn towards the door and his fast moves to switch off his lamp would have been. Letting it go for now, Tonks picked up her book and opened where she had left off earlier, 'Where your baby should sleep.'_

"But Remus, you're going to be fine!" Remus laughed and allowed some pent up air to escape.

"Fine? Sirius, I am going to be responsible for another witch or wizard! I am going to be a father." Remus kept repeating the phrase to himself, dad-father-papa-pops; hoping it would sink in.

"Moony, you're going to be fine really…" Remus interrupted what he was sure would have been his closest friends well meaning attempt to calm him.

"Sirius, I'm still a child myself most of the time, I can't bring one into this world, I can't cook, I don't know how to change a nappy, I don't know how old babies use nappies until, I don't know what babies eat, when they sleep, how long they should sleep for, where should they sleep? I mean I've been reading this book Tonks has on the Modern Witches Guide to Motherhood and there is lots of research that suggests you shouldn't have the baby's cot in your room because it will be harder to get it into its own room later on, but then other people, well they say it is easier for the mother to bond with her child if they are in the same room, which when you think about it kinda makes sense because you can't really bond if you're not in the same room, but then really, how much bonding can you do when you're sleeping I mean-"

Sirius put a hand in front of Remus' face, if being woken up at 2.47am hadn't already given Sirius a headache, whatever had just come over Remus, had. "Stop!" Sirius exclaimed, "and breathe- in and out – in and out." Remus slowed his rapid breathing that his outburst had bought on.

"Sirius – what's happening to me? I was so excited earlier today. I've spent so long worrying that Tonks was going to give birth to a werewolf that I never stopped to consider, wolf or not- it feels like it has all just hit me square in the stomach – I'm going to be a dad!"

Sirius got up and walked back into his room and grabbed a bottle of firewhisky that sat in the bottom draw of his bedside table. He popped it open and swigged a great mouthful from the bottle before sitting back down next to Remus and offering him the bottle to do the same.

He patted his friend on the back and gauffed loudly, "Remus, what had happened to you is what has been happening to wizards for centuries, for hundreds of thousands of years, when they realize they are going to be a father; it's called blind panic. Us Wizards weren't built to cope with the stresses and strains of parenthood alone, we just don't have the emotional capacity to deal with it," Sirius took the bottle from Remus' hands and took another swig, encouraging his friend to do the same, then he leaned in towards Remus, as though what he was about to say next was some big secret that he was passing on to Remus, "But that's why we don't go through it alone. And when it comes to having someone to go through all this with mate, I'd say you hit the jackpot! You may not have a clue what you're doing, but you will have Tonks beside you cleaning up when you mess up."

Remus glared at Sirius, who decided to amend his last comment, "Just kidding Moony! Lighten up." He took yet another swig of firewhisky, seeming no longer to feel the burn as it slid down his throat, he turned to look once more at Remus, this time his face serious and sullen, "You're not going to be experiencing this journey alone Moony, Tonks will be just as nervous as you, and just as I'm sure that her hair will go the most vividest pink the minute she lays eyes on her firstborn child, I know that together you will make mistakes and cry and shout and scream, but _together _you will raise an amazing little witch or wizard, who will hopefully have Tonks kindness and patience, your dogged determination and- my devilish good looks and stunning sense of humour." Sirius shot a grin at Remus was rewarded with a slow grin that spread on his old friends face, lifting his eyes.

"Thanks Sirius," Remus said with a half grin that still seemed to be pricked with panic but in a less manic kind of way. He actually almost looked _excited_ – after all, though it didn't happen often, this time Sirius was right. Remus could do anything as long as Tonks was beside him, hadn't they already proved that to each other? "How do you know all this anyway Sirius? Got a couple of kids tucked away somewhere none of us know about?" Remus smiled at his best friend.

"Nah- I've always been great at giving advice; it's taking it when I need some that I struggle with!"

"Well" Remus said, as the two men stood and dusted off their now caked full of dust garments, "I'd like to think that if you ever do need any advice, you'd-that is, well you know that I'd always be willing to hear you out and help if I could."

Sirius took the hand which Remus offered and pulled him into a very brief, pat on the back type of man hug. "Thanks Moony, that means a lot."

Sirius walked back into his room, "Though I'm sure that as the more civilized of the two of us, I'd be sure to break down at a more reasonable hour. I'm considerate like that!" Sirius shut the door to his bedroom and walked back to his bed. He leant down and picked up a tattered album which had been nestled just underneath his bedside table, then sat down on the edge of his bed.

He fingered the familiar, worn brown leather before opening the photo album and staring at the first picture. A woman and a man stood waving up at him; the man was holding a newborn baby who already had a head of thick black hair. Tears dropped onto the plastic cover that was protecting Sirius' most valuable memories. The panic Remus had conveyed was almost identical to what James had admitted over 15 years ago, when life had been much simpler, and less dangerous. Yet the advice which Sirius had given then was practically the same as he had just given to Remus.

It seemed very clear to Sirius, that though James loved Lily with all his heart, and Remus was crazy about Tonks, both men seemed to underestimate just what real unadulterated love could achieve. How the love of your true soul mate could bring joy from pain, love from hate and peace in wartime. The man waving at him from the picture in his hands, may have had his life so cruelly cut short, and Sirius truly hated himself for feeling as he did, but he had to admit, back then and now again with Remus, he envied his friends one thing.

One thing that he'd gladly give up everything for: the ability to be loved and to love unconditionally in return.

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><p><strong>AN: So that's it folks. I hope you liked this... It wasn't supposed to be reflective and sad at the end, but it just happened that way. There is a way you can all cheer Sirius up, and that is by clicking the wonderful magical button below and review Sirius' advice... I'm sure he'd appreciate it :-) I know I would! One of Those Days update tomorrow evening! <strong>

**Thanks for Reading! **


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